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Eating
“One must
eat to live, and not live to eat,” wrote Molière, and the world of dieticians
would tend to agree. Five to nine plates of fresh fruit and vegetables a day just
about encapsulate the recommended diet for a lengthy life. Out go pizza, pastries,
fried breakfasts and juicy steaks–all guilty of high cholesterol and “oxidative damage”
to the body. Instead, bid welcome to broccoli (rich in antioxidants), bran (rich
in fibres), steamed spinach and skinned chicken, rotated at one’s pleasure and served
with skimmed milk. Of course there have been notable dissenters. David Henderson,
a Scottish farmer who died aged 109 in 1998, swore by a diet of porridge, prunes
and a mixture of cattle salts and gin. Other suggested elixirs include champagne
and vintage port. Scientists, on the other hand, insist that all laboratory tests
point to the same conclusion: the best way to live longer is just to eat less, much
less. Undernourished, cold and terminally bad tempered animals, they say, generally
live to a ripe old age.
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Pill-popping
Enough of
raw cauliflower and Chinese leaf treatments–the busy Western consumer wants long
life, and wants it before breakfast. Acutely aware of the market interest in user-friendly
longevity treatments, researchers have been sifting through the potions. Top of the
list at the moment is Dehydroepiandrosterone, or DHEA for short, a hormone produced
naturally in the body by the adrenal glands, and that later transforms into oestrogen
and testosterone. According to its disciples–and there are many–use of this drug
can tighten skin, firm up bones and transform sex without a murmur of complaint.
Unfortunately the evidence is limited, the influence on the liver and other organs
unknown, and the usual perverse effects of hormone replacement (breasts for men,
beards for women) as present as ever.
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Additives
“Oxidative
damage” is caused when cells in the body fail to process food efficiently and instead
churn out molecules that oxidize the body–much as metal rusts, the flesh sags and
genetic material withers. Vitamins A, C and E come highly recommended, as does beta
carotene. Gingko, Ginseng, Bilberry, Soy Lecithin and Hawthorn leaves each have their
supporters. Similar miraculous claims have been made for onions and garlic, which
can either be taken raw, crushed into oils, served in juices or soaked in alcohol
for over a week to produce an aromatic tincture. Taken together, this course of curative
infusions is guaranteed to keep the doctor away.
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Going
genetic
But why stop
there? Who says evolution and its army of tight-fisted genes should get in the way
of immortal gratification? Now that the human genome has been plotted, numerous scientists
believe the average life span can be stretched to 100 or 120.
Tissue engineering, laboratory generated organs and therapeutic cloning have all
been proclaimed as the next great breakthrough. In particular, much is expected of
stem cells that can fill in for wasted neurons, bone marrow and tissue. And if that
doesn’t do the job, there are always alternatives.
How about freezing your brain upon death and waiting around for a lucky break? Or
what about porting into a computer or well-oiled robot? But if neither the vat nor
the android tempts you, there is still some consolation: as Jorge Luis Borges wrote,
the immortals lead numbingly empty lives, for like animals they have no consciousness
of death. “It is divine, terrible and incomprehensible to know one is immortal,”
he wrote.
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